Don't Kill the Birthday Girl: Tales from an Allergic Life Review

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Don't Kill the Birthday Girl: Tales from an Allergic Life ReviewIt was with a bit of dread that I began to read this book. I've read many self told tales of misery and redemption over the years, and stopped choosing books of that genre as the overall tone became too self-absorbed ("No one else out of six billion people has had it worse than me."), self-promoting ("I cured myself and I can cure you, too!!") and a bit preachy ("If you don't do what I tell you, you will die a horrible, painful death."). What a delight it was when this book turned out to be so different.
With no shortage of humor and wit does the author give the story of her life with allergies. Some, such as dairy, pollens, eggs and nuts, are those we've all heard of. But honeydew melons? Cucumbers? It was interesting to see how some people have allergies to foods most of us would never even consider putting on a list of allergy inducing items. Her reactions to these items also ran the gamut from a mild reaction easily taken care of with Benadryl (which gets a huge plug in this book) or a race to the ER to prevent full anaphylactic shock. I also came away from this book with much more understanding of the isolation that must be felt by those with severe allergies. As a child, could you imagine how it would feel to be left out of a birthday party because the child's parents arranged for a petting zoo? I remember living in Michigan and taking a trip to the JIFFY factory, which as a third grader was very cool. As an adult, I can't imagine being the only child in all the third grade classes unable to go because of an allergy. Yet I don't feel pity for the author, but rather empathy, and I think that is one of the author's goals in writing this book. She leaves the reader wanting a better understanding of the life she and millions of others lead every day instead of making the reader feel sorrow and evoking the old "Oh, poor thing" response.
Today, stories of children and food allergies are not at all uncommon. However, when the author was a child over thirty years ago, many people, including doctors, were much less educated and understanding of what someone with food allergies went through. People didn't understand that just touching a peanut, let alone taking a bite of a pb & j, could kill. If it were the 1970's - 1980's and someone told you they were allergic to cucumbers, how many people do you think would believe that person was serious? Most restaurants would have just picked off the cucumbers and re-served the salad. Until the last decade, manufacturers were not required to list on packaging if the product inside the box or bag was exposed to or contained allergens such as tree nuts, soy or dairy. Every meal not carefully prepared at home would have been a life threatening gamble.
I enjoyed the author's trip through time to the present as she describes the advances in recognizing and treating allergies. She skillfully drops in scientific information alongside a humorous anecdote so the information is presented in a way that doesn't feel as if the reader is being lectured to via dry, sleep inducing text. I also didn't get the sense of "oh, woe is me" while reading this book, which is utterly refreshing. Miss Beasley does express her exasperation with the whole ordeal, but tempers it with self-effacing jests. For me, it was like listening to a science lesson from that favorite teacher or professor in school.Don't Kill the Birthday Girl: Tales from an Allergic Life Overview

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An Unquenchable Thirst: Following Mother Teresa in Search of Love, Service, and an Authentic Life Review

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An Unquenchable Thirst: Following Mother Teresa in Search of Love, Service, and an Authentic Life Review"An Unquenchable Thirst" is a memoir of the twenty years that Mary Johnson, a young woman from Texas, spent in the Missionaries of Charity, the order begun by Mother Teresa of Calcutta. Entering the convent at age 19, Mary found herself in a community steeped in pre-Vatican II spirituality. Spiritual practices one associates more with the Middle Ages, such as wearing chains and whipping oneself nightly, were commonplace. One was expected to give oneself over totally to the will of one's superiors, and novices were taught that to question the superior or the Church was to question God. As the author tells it, mind control was practiced by those in authority, all in the name of fidelity to God. Inevitably, shame, guilt, and even mental illness followed. Most of the young women in Mary's class could not live under such conditions and left the order, but Mary and one other in her class remained.
An intelligent and compassionate person, Mary was sent to study in Rome, where she excelled. At the conclusion of her studies, she was put in charge of a group of novices, a job she handled well despite her own growing doubts and awakening sexuality. Pursued by an aggressive younger nun to whom she was attracted, Mary experienced sexual feelings for the first time. Knowing that she has violated her vow of chastity, Mary turns to her confessor, a sympathetic young priest with whom she eventually falls in love. Because the sisters are discouraged from having human friendships, it is difficult for Mary to tell the difference between the simple need for human connection and more complicated sexual attraction.
At the same time, a political coup was underway in the community. The ultra-conservative and anti-intellectual first and second councillors managed to have all the sisters who were studying at Rome's Regina Mundi university removed under the pretext that a priest there was teaching doctrine contrary to Church law on abortion. This is the last straw for Mary, and she requests a leave of absence, to the shock of everyone in the community, including Mother Teresa, who herself urges Mary to stay.
This memoir is amazingly detailed, and although the author admits that conversations are not verbatim, they have the ring of truth. I kept wondering if Mary had kept a journal or diary during her time in the community. I was also struck by the fact that Mary never excuses herself when she makes a mistake or does the "wrong" thing; indeed, I think she is far too hard on herself. That said, at 539 pages, the book is overlong and could have used a good editor. Still, it kept me interested. I was happy that Mary eventually found joy in marriage and career outside the community. I was also interested in the fuller portrait of Mother Teresa, who emerges as a more complex human being with great sanctity but also human flaws and blind spots.
Readers who are interested in a look into Mother Teresa's Missionaries of Charity will enjoy this book, though some may be dismayed if they view Mother Teresa and her order as perfect. Likewise, very conservative readers may be put off by some of the content. I recommend "An Unquenchable Thirst" to open-minded readers who see the world in all its complexity rather than in black and white.An Unquenchable Thirst: Following Mother Teresa in Search of Love, Service, and an Authentic Life Overview

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